Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Time to update again

Wow! It has been more than one year since I posted on my blog. In that year a lot has happened. I sort of completely fell off the internet due to everything that was going on and I never got to really put everything on here that I wanted to. I had intended to write up a complete timeline of events detailing everything that happened to us from the start of moving into the moldy house (my children have since dubbed that house Moldemort: rhymes with Voldemort, and it's a fitting name, given that house is the greatest evil in our lives) to moving out of the house, to the subsequent educational journey of heartbreak, loss, and misery that our lives became.

But in August, 2014, when the last post on my blog was written, shortly after that my husband lost his job due to illness and having missed so much work. (And also because I think the mold changed his thinking and personality to the point that he alienated a lot of people and coworkers which ultimately led to his dismissal. He is a grouchy, pain-ridden, and at times unbearable old sod sometimes.) That led to us becoming homeless from September 2014 until January of 2015. A horrible black spot in our lives that definitely puts 2014 on par with 2013 for being the worst year of our lives. I can't ever decide which is worse, the year that we moved into Moldemort and my daughter was hospitalized and we all became so sick and started this terrible journey, or the year that put the icing on the cake of losing all our worldly possessions to be followed with losing our jobs, home, and everything.

Either way, it completely derailed everything. I also wanted to post a complete list of our symptoms with a timeline of doctor visits, hospitalizations, and illnesses, but being homeless makes spending time on the internet a near impossibility. Because we couldn't stay in the shelter during the day, I did spend a lot of time at the library but I was in such a dark and miserable place that I couldn't find the motivation or will to update my blog. I researched the internet for mold information (learned so much), filled out applications for low-income housing and signed my kids up for every available program I could find: free lunches -check, school supply aid - check, food stamps - check, affordable housing - tried, but there is so much need and so little available.

But, my blog was obviously a low priority. Facebook was painful - I couldn't look at all those posts of happy, well-adjusted people without wanting to just break down and cry. And it all seemed so unfair. So I abandoned social media, I did update twitter on occasion, mainly because no one I know in real life follows me on twitter. It is easy to bare your shame to people who have no earthly idea who you are and I needed somewhere to document some of the heartache that was going on. Doing it anonymously was the only way that seemed to make sense.

I don't even know where I'm going with this blog post. I just wanted to start posting again. So much has happened and I already feel like I've lost years of my life to this mess.

I put up a GoFundMe page http://www.gofundme.com/qk2enswd with very little expectation. I follow numerous mold forums on Facebook and they posted that they were accepting submissions of fundraisers to their page. I read the stories that were on there and so many of my fellow "moldies" experiences resonated with me, and I thought, why not? We may never get past this if we don't ask for help and to be included on this page is an opportunity I shouldn't pass up. I never dreamed that so many people would come forward to help us. I am a fairly private and introverted person; I don't naturally make connections with people easily. So when my page was flooded with donations and I received an outpouring of messages of support and love, I was blown away. Literally. I never expected this at all.

It has enabled us to move into a new house that I hope will stay mold-free and safe for us. We will have very little to start but with time and help, we can finally move forward into a life of normalcy and stability. Thank you all for finally giving me HOPE!

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